I had to find the passage back to where I was before - 02/24/14

Guys, my final transfer could take the most patience out of everything I've faced so far. Remember the depressed elder in my apartment? I'm his companion now. 

This is good news, though! I'm no longer with the companion that drove me nuts. Although now it's a bit puzzling to me as to why I couldn't get along with him in the first place. He genuinely wanted to work. That should have been enough. 

Now I have to worry about another high-risk situation for the next six weeks. It had me a bit stressed out.  I was thinking about it for a while during sacrament when I felt a very strong impression come into my mind: "Was not my sacrifice enough for you?" 

Wow. I guess I'll trust God a bit more. 

We taught a whole lot of lessons this week. But 16 out of 26 of them were to recent converts and less-active members. We did make a little bit of progress with two of our part-member families. But now I won't be teaching them. Oh well. I hope that I can find the love that I need to succeed in this assignment. 

And now for a thought from Shakespeare.

The quality of mercy is not strained.

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed:

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

Sorry for the brevity. I'll try to find time for more thoughts later.

Last thing I remember, I was running from the door - 02/17/14

Sorry this is late. The upside of emailing from the Family History Center is that we can use it any day we want, including President's Day. The downside is that sometimes our connection is pretty spotty.

Things I have lost this week: my wallet.

Still missing: black sweater and spalted oak pen.

I'm doing a lot better in that regard, that's worth celebrating. I'm not totally brain dead yet! Yay.

I think the best things that happened to me this week were all dinner appointments. I ate a delicious panini with basil tomato soup.  That family invited a friend of theirs to church on Sunday. YAAAAAAY. She's not quite ready for the missionary lessons yet, but apparently she wants to come again next week! So that's pretty good news, yeah?

I also enjoyed a carefully presented meal of KFC chicken that she tried so very hard to pass off as not KFC chicken, with her own homemade sides and everything. The bishop's wife made us a delicious ham and funeral potatoes. Sister "N" made us some flippin loaded baked potatoes with chili and bacon and cheese and butter and some gnarly salad on the side. There was the old lady who tried very hard to make us some Asian food. I can't remember what the other dinner appointment was so it must not have been so spectacular, I sincerely apologize to whomever fed us on Wednesday night because I don't remember them at all. 

I didn't get a single letter this week, but that's okay, because my family sent me a really awesome Valentine's Day package. Like with most of the packages they send, I ate several things before I realized that most of the things got sent in twos so that one would be for me and one would be for my companion. So my companion got maybe half of what my parents intended for him to have. Sorry companion! I'm too dumb to see simple patterns like that, I've only been getting these packages for over a year now, so you'd think I'd catch on sooner. Oops. 

I did, however, send lots of letters out. I tried my very hardest not to send any out that appeared to be Valentines-Day-oriented. 

We got our Medical Marijuana expert to read AND pray! And then we asked him if he would give up marijuana if God asked him to. He doesn't think he can do that. Well, we are going to keep helping him feel the spirit and hope that his love for God will eventually outweigh his love of Cannabis. In most cases I would probably drop him, but honestly I can't be too picky about investigators at this point. It's not like I have better things to do. 

I'm planning on giving our zone a quick pep talk before district meetings tomorrow. I'm excited for it already. The numbers aren't as stellar as they have been in the past. Week six probably won't be much better, as most companionships are already anxious for the transfer calls to come and the changes to happen. But I'm going to try to put the love of God back in their hearts a little firmer than before. 

Fun story! We were sitting in the bishop's office at 6:30pm on Wednesday, about to go visit a bunch of new move-ins. Bishop said we should probably visit until 8:45, and then head on in so we can be sure to be home by 9, and because we shouldn't be knocking on people's doors that late anyways. Then the second counselor, whom I love dearly, starts to tease us a little bit about the time we knocked on his door at 8:50 to introduce him to my new companion, and how he was already in bed and all that. I just ate that up, since one of the things that bugs me most about this companion is that he insists on visiting people right up until 9, despite the fact that the white handbook specifically tells us not to, because he thinks that's what obedient missionaries do. Well, after three or four minutes of the bishopric teasing us, Bishop drops this gem: "Elder Hansen is just zealous to do the work." I'm surprised I didn't laugh out loud, because in this instance we were being teased for, I was totally against knocking on the door but I let my companion have his way. And now I'm being called the zealot for letting my companion do his overzealous thing. But that's okay. He could have spoken up for himself if he wanted to take the credit for that. 

Paradoxically, this very same night, Bishop tried to call us but our phone was off, so both he and his wife left us voicemails telling us that a certain less-active member of our ward needed a priesthood blessing, and gave us his phone number and address and instructed us to go give him a blessing. Well, we didn't listen to those voicemails until 9:08pm. I asked him if we should head out and do that, and he said no, it's after curfew. Shocked and confused, I sat there for a few seconds and then asked him again, gently, and again was told that it should wait until morning. So I didn't push it, and I stewed on it almost all night (until I wrote a really long letter to a friend, THANKS FRIEND for being my therapist). We ended up not giving that blessing until Sunday. In the future I'm not going to let stuff like that ride. We need to do what's right, regardless of the rule in question.

Transfer calls are Saturday! But Pres made it pretty clear in my interview on Wednesday that a big part of my assignment here is to watch over the depressed elder in my apartment, so I think we are both staying for another six weeks. I get to finish my mission here in Hemet! Yay. Unless President Smart throws me for another loop, like he is prone to do. We will see! 

Love you guys! Catch you later. 

We are all just prisoners here of our own device - 02/10/14

Another week in paradise. Except by paradise I mean Hemet.

Ether 3:14 is my thought for today. I love how the Atonement allows us not only to live, but to live eternally. And not only that, but to live abundantly in both this life and the next. I love my Savior. 

I didn't get to meet with the goth girl's boyfriend last week, maybe this Monday he'll join us. The most solid potential we had is gone. The Medical Marijuana Expert had one good lesson with us, and then didn't show up to the next. At least we got a 9-year-old in a part-member family to show up to church. That's the best we've done all week. Oh, and we met with the 17-year-old daughter of the Parking Lot Miracle couple, but she still hasn't moved in yet and we still don't seem to be any closer to baptizing her.

I was on exchanges twice this week, and both times we had really amazing days for not having any investigators to teach. I focused on making sure that I could provide the best possible day for my missionaries, and God provided a way. They both really enjoyed our exchange, and we got a lot of really feel-good lessons in even if nobody's really any closer to baptism.

I've had to wear my therapist hat a lot this week with the one elder in my apartment that's really struggling. I also got to play the bad cop and snitch to the APs on a guy who won't stop texting and writing letters to his girlfriend who also happens to be a sister missionary in our mission. 

I am losing my mind. I lost my backpack three times this week. I lost my planner once, I think. I drove right past our turn and got us lost on the way to an appointment several times this week. It really got me down on Saturday, the third time where I had to drive back across town to get my backpack. It feels like I've been stripped of opportunities to teach, my best friends have been transferred elsewhere, my recent converts are disappointing me, and now my ability to function as a normal human being is being stripped from me. I don't know where my journal-writing pen is, the one made of spalted oak that Dad made so pretty for me. I don't know where my sweater is that my ward mission leader in Jurupa bought for me. I don't know why I'm so broken. 

Well, that's where I was on Saturday. But church on Sunday was so inspiring. I mean, I definitely noticed that our speakers in Sacrament where terrible, but I left the meeting feeling so much calmer and refreshed. I know that God loves me and that I am capable of finishing out this mission. Whatever it is that he needs me to do still, I will do my best to get it done. I felt a lot better on Sunday. 

Oh, and I got to have lunch with one of my recent converts on Saturday night, and that helped a lot. He's doing so great. I loved hearing his stories from Murrieta. And the food was pretty awesome, too. We also seem to have reined back in the couple of  wayward recent converts that I was so worried about. Things are definitely looking up. 

I don't know what else to say, other than I love you guys a ton. Keep the faith. See you soon.

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget - 02/03/14

I have wicked long fingernails and have been unable to locate either set of nail clippers that I have acquired on my mission. This bothers me. I will be purchasing a new set today, which means that I will locate the old ones shortly. 

Sometimes we get stuck on little things like how annoying it is to try and type with long fingernails, that we forget the much more important things. Like how flipping awesome it is to get emails from old friends that I love so very dearly. And even though they are a thousand miles away, I can still smile and feel their warmth when I read their words in my inbox, here in the dairy farm desert wasteland of Hemet, California. Where the air smells like cow poop and the old people ride their golf carts on the streets with their shihtzus and chihuahuas on their laps. 

I have my flight itinerary already and I know exactly when I will be landing in Greenville/Spartanburg Airport. That's a scary thought, but in a way, I am glad that I don't really have to worry about that. Like everything else in the mission, it's been taken care of by someone else so really all I have to focus on is the Lord's missionary work, from 6:30am to 10:30pm.

I wonder what my investigators would think if I told them I was thinking about them while I shower.  I'm speaking purely in hypothetical situations right now, because I have no real investigators right now, but in the past that situation has been far more real. 

I had the distinct pleasure of dedicating a missionary apartment this week. I made sure and brought  a team-up with me and had the AP's approval before I set foot in the apartment because Sisters live there. I got to deal with a little more drama related to a Sister and Elder who are romantically involved with each other. We had our MLC meeting in Riverside with all the zone leaders, our ZDM to inspire our zone, and our stake MLC meeting to try and inspire our bishops to do better at leading the wards in their missionary work.  Our stake missionary specialist and had me play a big part in that meeting again. 

I found a potential investigator in the boyfriend of a less-active daughter of one of my favorite families. Sister "B" is currently a science teacher. She's a huge nerd and I love her to bits. Her daughter is kind of scary-looking, with piercings everywhere and the gothic motif going on. But I think I did a good job of treating her like a beloved daughter of God, and I hope she and her boyfriend will be with us when we teach the family again tonight. Seeing that whole family active again would really tickle me. 

Our Medicinal Marijuana Expert investigator started meeting with us again. I didn't put him on date again because I want to see him read and pray first, but he brought up again that he wants to be baptized this year. He also talked about his marijuana sprouts and the different strains and a lot of stuff related to that. He didn't read the assignments we gave him because his book got left out in the rain. I gave him a new pamphlet and we came by the next day. He hadn't read because he knew he was drunk and didn't want to read it and not retain it. I'm glad he realizes that much, at least. Sometimes I wonder if he has enough brain cells left to count as an accountable adult at this point, but I'll keep teaching him just in case. 

I realized two slightly scary things this week: I am a huge wimp when I feel sick, and I really, really like the taste of Nyquil. I spent all day Wednesday on exchanges with a sick elder, and then spent the rest of the week fighting off my own sore throat and achiness but still managed to lead a pretty sick Zone Development meeting and inspired the ward with my testimony of missionary work. Yay for me. I'm going to buy more Nyquil today. 

Oh yes, and things are looking up for the Parking Lot Miracle. The woman not only spoke in conference, but she met with bishop about a calling, came to church, and was called to work with the Young Women. She attended New Beginnings on Tuesday and is keeping appointments to meet with us now. I'm so glad that we didn't lose that family for good. I've learned that the following: faith has a very short shelf life, about 48 hours or so. New converts need a lot of nourishment. It's easy to fall off when you sin. And having members involved in conversion is CRUCIAL. You really need to get Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers assigned at the baptism or sooner, and getting the new guys callings as soon as possible helps a lot. Take notes, sports fans, I speak from personal experience. 

What stuck out to me this week is Alma 13: 27. In fact, I stood in front of the whole ward and told them about how I hope when they hear us teach in their homes, that their attitudes about the gospel change. Much like when I stood in the water with my arm at the square with my very first family I baptized, and my heart changed forever. I want the ward members to have that hunger for gospel knowledge and to share that knowledge and comfort with others. I want them to quake and tremble at the thought that their brothers and sisters should perish or endure endless torment. I want them to wish from the inmost parts of their hearts, with great anxiety even unto pain, that their friends will repent and come unto Christ. 

And I wish they would let me teach their friends so that all my experience and teaching skills can be put to better use... but that's probably selfish of me to think that. All in good time.  

Pray hard, my friends. We are praying for the drought to end and had an area 70 sponsor our area to fast for rain. So we heard a lot about that tomorrow. Guess what? The roads were wet this morning, and it's still pretty cloudy out. God is indeed a god of miracles, and with God, nothing shall be impossible.